that feeling...

I have had a hard time today shaking 'that feeling' last night was one of those odd nights, when Jared ate something he often does, we know the carb count, we didn't do anything out of the extraordinary.. went to bed with a in range number... and when we checked him at 10:30.. he was 44! why? .. i know..., you know...., all us parents of diabetics and diabetics alike know..., there is no reason.. i rechecked the BG history, his carb history, and his bolus and basal history.. nothing again out of the ordinary...

we treated him and waited the 15 minutes... still needed more... but not too much.. don't want him waking up at 300~~ well... we waited 15 minutes more and barely in range... but on the rise we decided he was on an upward trend and it was safe for us all to go back to bed.. he woke at 65... again strange.. these strange days leave me with "that feeling" that unsettled feeling that no matter how hard we try to 'control' diabetes, it has its own agenda.

I am also still waiting on the celiac and vitamin D results from his last endo appt... and so i feel... unsettled. I was actually unable to really be alone and okay this am.. after dropping off the kids, i usually come home to do freelance work, or run errands, or have a whole list of things to do, or that i could do.. but today I chose (i think) to erase my mind... well, i could not think of one thing that i wanted or was supposed to do... Thank goodness my neighbor and good friend called and asked me if i wanted to join her for a bit and carpool to pick up our kids. I think that feeling was that i really needed a hug, and a friend...I was feeling down and needed a hug.. those nights suck and really make me appreciate that we catch the lows and so far have avoided the consesquences of not... but that low, made me feel 'low' and carried right to the morning... I think it was waking my little boy over and over to force him to drink in the night, from his slumber... to wake him from his peaceful dreams to poke him with a glucose test.. or his reality (yes, pun intended!)

.. thankfully the sun is shining, and I am feeling better now, .. and all is right again.