Sunday, June 7, 2009

Everyone has their own fight!

I have become a bit more 'sensitive' and although I have always considered myself compassionate, I would say, since Jareds diagnosis (do you capitalize that 'D' in Diagnosis to notate its impact? .. hummm...something to think about??) I have become even more so. I realize this at odd times, often catching myself, not feeling sad for only my son, but for all the people all over the world who live with Diabetes. This morning I did a walk for a cure. Not Diabetes, but Breast Cancer awareness. My first 5k and I did it because a dear friend, whose mother in law is a survivor who walks each year, and I wanted to support her.

(note: Since Jareds diagnosis of Diabetes, for the past 2 years (June 20th will be 2 years to the day) I have thought of doing the JDRF walk, and wished I just did it... I found excuses, including Jared telling us he did not want to, and not encouraging him to try (don't judge please... there are somethings not easy for everyone) I never really knew why... I care about the cure, I care about the fundraising... but until today, I did not understand what it is really about.

Today after the walk, the survivors had a parade/walk... and I cried. I felt a great energy the whole walk, I got teary eyes as the cheer leaders on the sidelines cheered us on, I got emotional when I saw the effort that those affected put into their team costumes or personalizing their shirts (including the little girl with the pigtails who could not be more than 6 years old whose shirt read (' In memory of my MOM' and it was decorated by her with flowers and hearts and all things little girls know how to draw best), and at the end, when I saw the whole group of amazing, strong women who faught for their health and for their life... I cried.

Everyone has a fight. We fight each day for another healthy one. Others fight against other illnesses.

Today reinforced to me that these walks are so important, because of who they touch... everyone who is there. Especially those who have had to fight the hardest to be there.

I know that in that sea of people.. no one, no one... NO ONE felt alone. We were united and for some reason, I know that I not only was blessed with getting energy from these amazing people today, but hopefully I was able to give just a bit of energy too.

All this aside, I know what my real fear was about the walk for our cause.. and I now have year to overcome it. I don't want to cry in front of my son, and let him know how much this affects me. He knows we all are frusterated with irratic blood sugars that are out of control, and the fact that we wish that no one had to have diabetes EVER, but he (to the best of my knowledge) does not know that this disease makes me cry sometimes.

and you know what else I learned... it is okay to cry.. because we are not alone, there are so many around you to send you strength without even knowing it and those tears dry pretty fast. Not for any reason other than... we have SO much to be happy about, and so much to be thankful for... for each day, everyone has their own fight!