What to do? What would you do?

The plot/ dilemma is here.. any advice for me?

My son is in 1st grade and is bright, he attends montessori (private school) We ended up there by default as the public school was not ready for his diabetes (Trust me, 4 days post diagnosis, neither were we, but we did not have a choice) He ended up at a wonderful school in which the teachers are really sincere and care enough to help my son with his diabetic needs.

The issue... My daughter is going to be going to going into kindergarten this year, and we were thinking we wanted both kids together... Sending 2 kids to montessori would break the bank (to say the least)SO... do we pull our son and put him into a public school (Which note, now has a new principal and new pseudo nurse (She is still nurse to 6 schools - so does not spend much time at her school) or put my daughter into montessori, or split them up?

Aggghhhh! Pressure is on, everyone needs us to enroll.. and pay deposits. I need to decide and I can't. I Love the education my son is getting and his zest and love for learning, and the extraneous and extra subjects he learns at this private school really help fuel his passion for learning... But will this.. can this continue at regular school?

What would you do?

So the underlying issue is that it is not only academic, it is social as well... in his mixed class (and ultimately hers too) there are very few kids the same age as your child. And from the current selection in his class, the other boys have major behavioural issues.. not to mention lack of filters and discretion! The appeal of the local public school is the new friends and a class full, if not 2 - 3 of new opportunities for friends...

Is the grass always greener?

Help!?!?!? Please.

Imagine that I am so confused about the above, I have back burnered that we have to factor in the whole diabetic issues of testing and lunch boluses...

Ack! Ugh, Sigh... HELP!!!

If you give my kid a cookie...

I have read my kids the book 'if you give a pig a pancake' and 'if you give a mouse a cookie'... well here is our story of 'if you give my kid a cookie....'

It was a beautiful day and all was great, we were bike riding along the ocean and train running through the forest and running outside while the sun was out. After our adventure for an afternoon snack, we passed our all time favorite bakery. We have mastered the 'croissant' bolus... so we have not let diabetes stop us from visiting our old time favorite digs for a treat. This time my daughter had her heart set on a cookie... well our son then wanted one too.. he was willing to for go the croissant if only he could have some peanut butter cookie. It was a big one.. almost the size of an infants face.. his BG going in was 116 and we thought with all the activity we could 'let him be a kid' *dun, dun , daaah.... we bolused a good amount, and ... well... if ever there were excess of carbs, those buggers would be hiding in that peanut butter cookie.

If you give my kid a cookie... 3 hours later... he will climb to 399... extra bolus... cover for dinner.. and just then, as luck should have it ... a pod change.. dun, dun, duuuh... the plot thickens... the pod occludes, and no warning alert is given to his little body... he climbs into bed.. we think we are still playing catch up with cookie and the high BG is from that... but low and behold the new pod decides it can't push his occlusion through the line and .. dun. dun, duuuhhh - DOH! I thought I saw the occlusion in the night and start injecting him... trying to keep up with what he have been dealt... A pod change to a sleeping kid is not nice - and that is just peeling the adhesive off the first pod.. not to mention the insertion of the new cannula, which is loud and a bit of a shocker while you are sleeping!... and an hour later, he is up complaining of a tummy ache and .. - Thank goodness Jared is so intune with his body and listened to it.. who would have thought we would be dealing with this in such a short timeline, but ...we check for ketones - Moderate! SH*t :o( this is the beginning of what could be a long night... he is up and we change the pod.. we continue to inject to make sure, get into bed with him, and try and sleep it off... Half sleeping he asks " if I didn't have diabetes would I be up feeling sick right now?!?" We tried to explain that kids all over the world can wake up in the night not feeling well for all sorts of reasons.. but inside we were sad.. this time, for him, it was only beacause of diabetes (and a cookie!??!? and a bad pod?!?!)

we wake to a new day.. with a happy ending... by 8am ketones are gone and he is ready for breakfast and back to 150...

As much as we tell ourselves, with the miracle of insulin, our kids can eat what they want..(And maybe because we don't encounter it very often.. it had an extra negative effect..) This innocent enough cookie started a chain of events that lead to ketones in the night... (for some reason.. moms intuition even only suggested a mostly protein dinner after a high reading post cookie (pre pod change) and that helped... but imagine... what mac and cheese could have caused to this whole chain of events! More chaos. And shouldn't a kid be allowed to eat what other kids eat... In our case.. I think we know ... that answer is 'no'.

I went to sleep earlier that night an optimist - that is who I am... and after middle of the night injections, and sore tummies, sad questions and ketones, I went to bed chanting I hate diabetes, diabetes sucks... I was mad... but that was not helping the cause..

(self talk section: I even tried earlier that morning to get him to wear his CGM - bribes and all... and I feel for him, for all he has to go through... but I can't let guilt win.. care and diligence is the only ammunition we have for beating this disease... so for now... we can write stories about uncalculated cookies.. but for us, they will only be fairytales)

I wish for everything in the world, that we could go back in time a year a half.. it was a high point in our lives, and then diabetes hit.. it could happen to anyone, and sucks big time... we learn from it and my son has shown me that kids can be heros... but I wish it all played out differently.

Tired and resentful - the optimist signs out... for today is another sunny day, and we move forward, not letting the emotions overcome.

Enjoy the day.. we will...

Signing out again,

The Optimist!