Well, tonight is one of those nights.... the fist night after the changing of a night time basal rate... and it is 11:40pm and my son is 97 with .20 units on board.... seems simple.. kiss him goodnite and off to bed... well not quite..
I have an obsession.. as do many other pancreas parents... to protect my son from night time lows when possible... and well... this is a number that may be heading that way.. but not worth waking him up for a nite cap of milk... so I wait. My waiting game, gives me about 2 hours of ... well waiting, and wasting time. I suppose I should be enjoying this time, it is mine after all.. the house is quiet, everyone is asleep... but me... waiting, I am waiting. Before May 9th of this year, and since my son's diagnosis a year ago, I waited every nite... but then I waited for three hours, every three hours, and as I mentioned in an earlier post, the great endo nurse changed the ratios and now the pod/pump is doing more of the work than me... but when we make a change.. tonight it being a combo of a basal rate range, and a Correction factor change, and a really active late evening in the yard with friends and neighbors... I wait. Again.
I hope that those growth hormones that on any other nite, keep me up to bolus him, kick in and keep him hovering in the 'safe' zone.. because of ALL nites, earlier today, I took off his CGM and gave him the day off. For those who don't have one, or are not too familiar... it will vibrate to wake him and if that does not work, it will beep to wake me.. at a high or low out of range. Talk about piece of mind... well tonight, this mind.. has not much peace!
All I think about is imagining what is going on in that little body of his, and how will I one day figure it all out to pass the torch on to him, so he can sleep, with piece of mind, and not worry... and respond to his own needs in the nite.
So, as I wait... I write, and I wish you all a peaceful sleep tonight, and a bright sunny day tomorrow, with no night wakings, and sweet dreams (but not too sweet - we don't want to wake with a high ;) (cheesy I know, but seriously, who thought of that... 'sweet dreams'!?!? well tonight, as my precious son sleeps I wish him sweet dreams of about 6 carbs to keep him safe, and dreaming of a sunny day tomorrow.)
#SpareARose 2020 & A DOC Valentine
4 years ago