I couldn't wait...

11:57pm... couldn't wait anymore... 67... well.. that solves that... a small sigh that we did not wait.. a half a glass of milk... and we can all rest a little easier...

good nite.. for now ;)

a tad supersticious...

11:11pm.. I am a bit supersticious still as an adult.. and when the digital clock shows all the same numbers, if I am in the right mind set.. I still..make a wish. Tonight.. I got to make an wish at 11:11pm just before i went to check Jareds BG. I knew what i wanted to wish for, but I am so careful with my wishes.. because like a child, i prefer to wish for what i know can come true... so my words in my wishes are so very carefully chosen... Of course we all know what the 'ultimate' wish is.. but how do we wish for it??? a cure? diabetes to just go away?? no complications?? easier life?? Less issues for him to deal with??? Less pressure for him?? I never know quite how to phrase it.. I am beginning to think it is a good thing I am indeed supersticious, because I have by now, likely worded this 'desire' in so many ways.. some part of it.. in fact 'any' part of it 'has' to come true... I can't complain because we have not had any extraordinary complications to date.. lows.. yes, highs.. yes.. ketones with the flu.. yes.. IV's and hospitals for what other kids miss only one day of school for.. yes.. but all in all.. we are so lucky he is responsible (as responsible as a 6 year old can be) and is in tune with his body.. and does not rebel too much... but I do wish for him to have the same 'normal' as other kids...

I checked his BG and he is 87... good.. right?!? normal.. right?? only not for a kid with no pancreas who you never know what is going to happen when they sleep... too much insulin can cause a parents worst nightmare.. well.. 3 more hours to check to make sure we will all have a good nights sleep... you never know which direction it will go in... nights like tonight you wish for the CGM.. that personal safeguard... the one that will let you know 'before' (in theory - and usually) trouble comes his way... but he does not have a sensor on.. so I don't anticipate much sleep tonight.. I am already rambling... Clearly there is much more and way too much on my mind... the guilt of halloween coming up.. .i don't know.. hating hearing my son say. "I like healthy things and I know it makes me feel the best, but I wish i could belive it ...when someone says.. you can have anything.. they meant it - I know I can't ... and don 't know if i ever will" and then he moves on.. that is way too deep for a kid.. acknowledging that a small fraction of his life sucks, he deals.. it is not fair... but I wish for him.. one day.. he could have 'anything' he wanted...

note: the problem here is that even if you try to let him have a small binge fest.. he doesn't feel good.. what is the fun in that anyway... (Hey you got to let them live and learn a bit.. and as most of you know, it does not take much for a small kid to feel the effects... of it all... and I mean "it all"

On Halloween we trade the 'loot' for a 'gift' from the great pumpkin of halloween who has a sweet tooth... but I still feel a bit guilty (not that he needs the candy) but that the whole 'ritual' of it all does not have the same satisfaction to him as it used to.. :(

Sorry to have jumped all over the place, I just felt a need to ramble tonight... I am thankful for so much, and so happy and proud of him, I wish I could make it all better... I would take a day.. anything... for him to feel he is 'normal' because I know he is... and I know what wonderful things he will do and accomplish regarless... just an easy day... would be a really nice 'treat'

the sirens of occlusion...

I should have had a clue after a wonky BG day in school... one that had the teachers baffled and on the phone... but as most of you know, BG's that vary tremendously really can indicated many things, or nothing at all ...

he was 57 before lunch and HIGH at the end of the day... although an hour later he was back to 140... so what was up.... the teachers parting words were... have a good nite, I feel for you.. I remember not sleeping... and from the sounds of it.. tonight might be one of those nights...

Foreshadowing.. for sure!

he went to bed... in range.. with tons of insulin on board, due to a pasta dinner and a hungry growing boy.. and so I kept checking him every hour, because i am trying the 'pasta night' extended bolus for 8 hours... well... his BG was 340 at 10:45 so i knew bedtime was not in sight for a while... Midnite.. HIGH... hummm... forced a bolus to correct... (actually hubby did it... after a day like that.. i needed some respite from the chaos..) and about 2 minutes after his walk back... the siren went off.... HUH .. you ask.. SIREN??? Jareds pod sirens when it goes into auto shut off... occlusion :( he comes running in scared... and i knew what had to happen... my hubby on the other hand has not heard the occlusion siren before... so it is quite new .. and intimidating... so 12:30 here we are changing the pod of a cute and very sleepy boy... He was a trooper... we let him sleep in our bed, and brought his sister in too.. it was one of those nites... closer is better.. might mean a bit more sleep

He woke up and went into his room.. dad had left some lego for him... he got all excited and was not expecting it.. I told him the pod fairy must have told dad to leave it out for the bravest boy.. (note: not that pod changes dont 'hurt' per say... but at midnite.. no one needs that S**T!

Funny story: The first time I heard the siren my brother and dad were in town... the lot of us searched the house when we heard it.. including Jared.. looking for what toy or appliance was making the high pitch squeel... it turned out then to be my boy.. well his pod anyway... so we learned... hear an electronic noise.. check the boy!(pod)

Off to school.. hoping the new pod will bring peace and quiet for Jared and his teacher ;)

Proud of her for speaking out...

A true hero of a mom, a person, and a spokesperson for all our children.... I love her...and I cried...when i saw the commercial..it caught me by surprise.

Her son has been a mentor and friend to our son...She has been a support and a role model to me!

what a great family!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rSITfYSxa8&feature=user

Post the origional post, I come back to this post of mine, not really realizing how contriversial it is.. nothing in politics ever is... but as parents of diabetic kids, and me knowing this woman and getting the call from her October of last year that her son had a seizure in the night... is why i tear up, because she is a hero for speaking out, no matter the forum.. I know in my heart, she did it not to help the politician first and formost but to help her child and all of ours... to raise a voice no matter the forum... to raise awareness of what a diabetic child endures - period. There is no pretending that everything 'can be normal'... it isn't and until resolution... it won't be.

This is NOT just a dramatic commercial.. this is real, this IS our lives, this is a truth ... not for the politician but for diabetics... seeing this commercial was like my first time saying out loud in a group forum that my son was diabetic.. it makes it real, the world does NOT know what it is like to live with a diabetic child... never mind the prospect of a cure, but dealing with today.. even more granular.. dealing with each moment!

Today I have decided that if I can ever have a moment to help others, and mostly families of diabetics like ours, I will... We cannot hide in the shadows of ignorance.... Our children have a different 'normal' they deal with more S**T than most adults can handle ... They are heros who deal with so much each day...