Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I feel defeated!

Tomorrow we go to the Endo.. and usually I don't dread the appt, but tomorrow I do. for a few reasons.

1. I have my daughter coming with us - she is the little sister and can get board and irritable and distracting way to easily... and I have to plan to keep her busy and focus at the same time.. not to mention keeping Jared happy busy and not just 'hungry' because he is bored which always tend to happen with our pre lunch appts.

2. I switched to the new Omnipod remote and it now does not download 3 day reports with each individual day, it lists data.(90 days of it). and I am (apparently an old dog and not quite getting this new trick) I am not used to reading this format and feel that it was not 'warning' me (even thought I kind of knew) that he had been running high(ish) for a while. (I am not blaming the technology, I just realized that i used the old technology as a crutch and I can't shake the feeling)

3. I waited until the last second to send his reports to the Endo and am likely overwhelming her with my attempts to get her the important stuff .. which is not a good feeling.. and I hope she gets what she needs..

4. I am expecting a high A1C, and that for some reason makes me feel defeated..

I think I am dreading knowing that I have been letting him be a kid instead of completely obsessing, which I still do, but on a scaled back fashion... I am still feeding him right, and making the best choices possible, but somehow, was okay with overlooking that even though we were doing this, he was running high.. I did not seek help from the Endo immediately... I made a small tweak to his basal rates, but it did not help enough.. so I decided to wait to let the endo do the rest of the tweaking.

I think I am just venting... sorry, ahh I feel better already. Wish us luck!


Jules said...

Good Luck!!!
I have very little idea what any of that stuff means... LOL, what a dorky friend! However, I do know that you have Jared's best interests at heart. Try a pre appointment trip to the dollar store! I did that with my kids when I had to go in for depression stuff, and couldn't find sitters! Let them pick a few toys, and buy some stickers and paper... works like a charm! Let me know how it goes, and I will be thinking of you guys!

Sherry said...

You're doing an amazing job!! You're pinch hitting for a pancreas, for crying out loud! Not an easy thing to do. And if that isn't the understatement of the year, I don't know what is. We're off to an endo appointment tomorrow too! I'll be thinking about you. Best of luck.

PancreasMom said...

Thinking of you too Sherry... Hope yours is smooth sailing ;)