Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Totally unrelated but needed to air...

So one of my best childhood friends tried to end her life.

She is 'barbie' .. no that is not her name, but to me, she is perfect. She is all the attributes inside and out of what barbie should be 'born with' (yes i know she is plastic... but she does have perfect breasts, a small waist, blonde hair and blue eyes with great lashes that never clump ;) ) and since the manufacturers of barbie intended for her to be a role model to little girls, you would like to think they intended for her to be smart, witty, charming, funny, caring, and a good friend. Well, again, my friend, is all these things.

Last time we spoke (a few weeks ago) she was mentioning that regardless of Diabetes, I was so lucky to have 2 of the most happy, charming and smart kids, and pretty lucky overall to have the life i have... I agreed. I was a bit jealous of her life too, still a bachelorette, and involved in a fun career, got to sleep in on weekends, and lie at the beach for hours if she should choose to...and smart enough to know she did not want to settle with the last long term man she was dating. ... In a heathy way, I envied her, she envied me....

I now know, (and it obviously was not in any direct relation to me..) but that she really was not happy in her life, and she was wanting something different... and instead of seeking it, her depression got the best of her and she chose to try to fall asleep with some sleep-aid and not wake ... I am feeling blessed that it did not work, that I have a chance to spend more time with her, and to enjoy her company, even if she is not currently happy. I know there is more for her still, and I want to be a better friend. When i got a hankering to call her at 1am and leave a message to say hi, and she actaully answered crying, i should have known... I was glad to be there that night, but that is not enough.. she needs someone there always ....now... and I hope to always be the best friend I can be...to my friends, my family and to me.

1 comment:

Sherry said...

I sincerely hope your friend finds happiness. Hugs to her... and you.