A night like tonight...

Things have been busy, but somehow managable on the diabetes front and so, we live.. day to day, moment to moment, like my son and so many other diabetics and parents of t1 kids.. we do what we do each day and night.

tonight, I remember why I used to be scared of diabetes... because tonight after watching a show to stay up the extra 3o minutes to be able to check my son at a reasonable time to know if I could go to bed early rather than be on BG call all night... I checked him, like I always do... most of the time he is in range, sometimes needs a bit of a correction.. not gonna lie, sometimes a bit low.. like other nites, tonights low was not alarming, but oddly his reaction when I tried to wake him was... he was barely lucid... he was able to drink the carbs (thankfully - no glucagon needed).. but kept doing some other really illogical movements and his speech was totally not english, or understandable for that matter... that scared me...

I am going to check him again soon (after 15 minutes) but I had to blog from my quiet house while everyone else sleeps, because that moment like others in the past reminded me of how scary diabetes can be.. and how the nights were so scary for so long... and I don't think I took the other quiet nights for granted.. but I did forget how scary it can be.. that if I had fallen asleep or 'did not feel like getting up' (Hasn't happened but I can see how it could) to check on my little boy... it could have been very different for the rest of our lives..

It is a disease that is totally manageable, but totally unpredicatable...kind of an oxymoron (or ironic) ...

Kiss your babes tonight for me, and I am sending out good vibes and love and support to those who like me, have a night where... it could have all changed, but didn't.. and the kids are none worse for the wear.. but the parents roll over and curl under the blankets like children and try and find comfort... and love... and strength, until they wake up and check thier sleeping children again, or see thier smiling shining faces in the morning.

Do we really expect more from the media??

It is sad that a young 30 year old woman has died, Casey Johnson and socialite and heiress to the Johnson and Johnson , she was diabetic and may have died of diabetic related causes as she was not known for taking the best care of her diabetes in years leading up to her death. (according to hospital reports and media reports) Ironically she had co-written a book with her parents about parenting a diabetic child. Donations in her honor are being made to JDRF, which is very generous and nice of the family. My thoughts are with them.


The media is always brilliant.. After she died, and stated she was a diabetic, they said they found insulin syringes in her home at the time of death.

I have two words for them " no kidding !!!!"

It will be interesting to see how the media spins this and what it does to further the confusion the world has about T1.. lets hope the media gets this one right'!

A microscope into our children...

I have said since shortly after Jared's diagnosis that we have the (unchosen) opportunity to have a microscope into our child.. we know what birthday cake really does ;) we can see how stress effects children, when they are growing, when they may be 'truly' scared to the core...

Yesterday was first day back at school after winter break for my kids, most kids started on monday. Sunday night Jared had trouble falling asleep... not only because he was nervous, but recently he has had an ongoing cough (going on 6 weeks) that was diagnosed as 'nocternal asthma induced by winter' so his cough does keep him up at night, but ... not much more than any other night in the past 6 weeks... his bg's started running high just before midnite... after two high readings, we decided to check for ketones (which yes, we are supposed to always do, and we usually do, but sometimes, if we know it was icecream, or a birthday party treat... we forgo it) Just after midnite, he had trace.

To comment here and say that Jared is in great control from what the dr's say.. he checks 8 or so times a day, always covers for what he eats if not before eating, but during if he does forget.. and has an A1C that the dr's are happy with being at 7 and previously in the 6 range... but WHY.. why do the dang ketone pop up ?? and out of know where it seems?

When you get trace at midnite, there is not much to do.. we continue to check him and give the regular insulin as usual... and of course, by morning - Large ketones... doubled the insulin and they were gone pretty quick, but so was the first day of school.

When it was all over, Jared said ' I hope I can sleep tonight, because tomorrow is MY first day AGAIN....' We talked about nerves and why he might be scared... and oh my.. did he really get himself so worked up and stressed over the first day back after such a wonderful break that he had ketones? (they were there and gone really fast this time)

This reminds me that sometimes maybe I need to ask even MORE questions before I rely on the 'microscope' and find out how to overcome what we can before we need to deal with the diabetic side effects of stress, and emotions...

I will still never forget when Jared was 5 (2 years ago) and over the holidays he heard 2 people he loved (not his mom and dad) fighting and yelling at eachother.. from the other room, he yelled "stop arguing - you are so loud.. I can't play" .. I went in to make sure he was okay, his voice was trembling at the top of his vocal chords from yelling.. and sure enough... that emotion had stacked up his BG to 400!!!

There is so much about T1 we can't control, but so many other things that if we stop and think, we can contribute to making it easier...

In 2010, I want to not jut be on top of Diabetes care, but on top of managing (both) my kids feelings, emotions and fears... and make it a great, happy and healthy success!

Everyday, I learn more and more from my kids :) and for that I am greatful!