Thinking of giving the public school a go - Again!

Had a great meeting with the new district nurse and she is *drumroll please* a type 1 diabetic herself. She guaranteed me a safe environment for Jared at school... I believe her. I can't believe i actually told her that I was happy she was diabetic (but not to take it the wrong way of course!) but that she would understand where we are coming from and what taking care of your diabetic self involves. (even though she is a nurse for 6 different schools in the district - so she may not have a lot of time at our school)

The principal (new also) is on board and is wanting to put a team into place and take care of him so we all feel safe.

I am liking the sounds of this...

I will keep you posted :)

(this is a far way away from my sons first meeting 2 years where he walked away saying "Does my new school not like kids with Diabetes??)

Balance

Jared had his check in with the Endo, my husband had been working late all week, and the kids were tired, the appt has been moved to 4pm and I had no where else to put my daughter, but with us at the appt. This always makes me nervous... she is a patient lovely helper of a sister when her brother is in the hospital and when she needs to be... but for just a check in at the doctor, when it is not about her... she tends to sometimes want my attention. I guess she is trying to make it about her ;)

I was panicky... that morning, my friend asked me to watch her son so she could pack up for a trip they were all leaving for the next morning... I said yes in the morning while out running the last of my morning errands with my daughter, but one store did not have OJ, yadda yadda,,, we ended doing a bit more running around than i anticipated... Bottom line, after lunch we were both tired! so I cancelled on her... I picked up a few things from the store she needed, but I cancelled on her, out of fear of my daughter being a disaster for our appt that afternoon. so in the afternoon before we picked up Jared from school, she rested at home.

Now i regret my decision, not because everything worked out okay, but because sometimes, unintentionally i become so focused on Jareds appt and taking care of his diabetes, I forget how much i rely on my friends, and how much they do for me when we are in a pinch, and i did not return the favor.

I was so obsessed with this appt I let my friend down. (she evidently is okay with it, but I feel horrible!)

Jareds A1C was fantastic, which after a rough winter was unexpected,,, but it was bitter sweet. I felt like his great numbers was also in part because I am so focused on helping him be the best and healthiest he can be, I forget to be a good friend to others sometimes?!??

I think this is the point where i look in the mirror and ask, what is more important. The problem is.... my friends are just as important as taking the best care of my kids as possible.

How can we balance being the pancreas parent, and being yourself and a good friend?!?!

Loved this SUM post.. wanted to share it

"What Kind of Diabetes Punctuation Mark Are You?"

Some days, I'm a question mark, constantly wondering. "What caused this high?" "How do I figure out this basal rate?" "What kind of foods can I eat today?" "Am I a bad person because I ate that?" "What the hell is that thing BEEEEEEP!ing for again?" "Where is my meter?" "Is that because I'm low or because I'm me?"

Other days, I'm an exclamation point, frustrated and a bit burnt out. "I am mad!" "I don't want to deal with this stupid disease anymore!" "I want to go to sleep without all these devices!" "This isn't fair!" "I quit!" And also, "Yes, I can eat that!"

Moments where I can't separate myself from my disease become saturated with hyphens. It's all "diabetes-related" and "high-high" and "blood sugar-wise." A doctor-patient relationship. Am I Kerri-with-diabetes or Just-Kerri?

There are days when I am a comma, taking a brief pause before making a decision. "I just treated the low but I still feel low, so I should wait before eating something else." And on particularly confusing days, I can be a semi-colon, taking an even longer moment to make sense of something. "I'm low and I've treated it; however, I exercised, ate something sugary, have active insulin, still feel the low, and have no idea what to do next."
But overall, my diabetes is punctuated by an ellipse. I manage the moments, but it's always a question of the unknown. Yes, this is the "now," but what happens later?

If I eat this, I could ... If I go to sleep on this blood sugar, I might ... If I spend the next five years ignoring this, I may ... If I don't do this, I will ...If I'm happy and healthy, my life will be ...
Every day is different, and every diabetic is different. And every moment is left with an ellipse, trailing off into the unknown. it can be very easy some days, and completely overwhelming on others. Sometimes I tire of taking the editorial red pen to my diabetes. And other times, I need to remind myself that this isn't something I can ignore.
I think that the most important thing I can do is ... live.

Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling on January 19, 2009 09:50 AM Permalink

** Based on the quiz at http://www.blogthings.com/whatpunctuationmarkareyouquiz/

Back in the swing of things...

We decided to put on the CGM.. I had decided that everything which had been so certain, had become uncertain.. and for a moment, in this chaos we call life, I needed my calm back, my center, my grounding.. my groove...and Jared needed his CGM on.

Deep breath. sigh, smile.

There is something wonderful about being lucky enough to have a CGM to help you through the questions.. to know (or better understand) which direction the BG is going in, and help to understand what impact all our daily decisions have on our diabetic children.

I feel like this post is the clear me, and the one who feels confident (and vulnerable) that we can survive each day, that our kids are the strongest, and by teaching them to undertand themselves, they are going to best care for themselves over the long run.

I was noticing I had become a bit too 'dear diary' and a bit on the negative side. I felt like the winter season had beaten us down.. but that is not our style.. we are get up and get ' at ' er kinda people...

I am back up and at' er and so is Jared and we feel good again...

We are healing from our winter illnesses and BGs are back on track, and tightly controlled... all while (in moderation) enjoying the little things in life that make kids smile.

My son has started writing a book with his grandma about living with diabetes, but after much thought, and reading thier first draft.. it is about him.. living, choosing and caring for himself and those around him.. and those who help him, and make his life as normal as possible while having diabetes.. that it is not what defines him, but a part of why he needs help.. so he can be like all the other kids.

All this joy has reminded me of why I can be strong, and happy and confident again.. that not all is chaos...

Registration time again...

It is registration time for school again, and I am not sure how detailed, if at all, i have gotten on this blog, of why we have my son in private school.. but in one word, it is for his 'safety' (was that more than one word???) He was diagnosed a month before going into kindergarten and so for his safety and the lack of his home schools interest in helping figure out a solution to helping him survive each day of his school day... they left us out in the cold (Yes, I know... Illegal.. and yes, ADA lawyers opted to help us sue...) but I needed to focus my energy on finding him a safe school. And we did.

We applied back to the home school last year for 1st grade and the same... not really a safe option.. so we put him back in Private... Okay... here is the part I am keeping to myself (okay, again, guess not anymore... wow, this really is theraputic, considering I started out by not feeling like talking.. but felt like I was abandoning blog) I am applying again this year to our home school. Last year when he was declined, those around me told me "what was i expecting them to have a change of heart?" They don't want "trouble or kids with issues at their school.. that is not going to change.. they have not had a diabetic kid there in the past 18 years of record" nothing is going to change!!

But call me stubborn, this year, I feel things could be different... Jared is really self sufficient (Well more than you can expect of a 6 year old to say the least) and is not on shots... he is on a pod and can do his own finger pokes... Call me crazy... but now that my daughter is about to enter school.. we need a solution for a school where they can safely go together.... and Private school is well... (is there a term past stretching us thin??) seeming as a stressful option.. There is a new principle (The old one really was closed minded and wretched! and a new designated (one day one hour a week) school nurse... This could mean change.. I hope!

Okay, so wish us luck with all the decisions and registrations for public and private that are in our next month of our lives.. and hope that neither kids are affected or saddened by the choices we as parents have to make.

Did I mention my son really wants to stay in his school until grade 3~??~ that is two more years!!

Happy New Year :)

I smile, and I breathe. And I welcome a new year, and wish you all the best.

Strength, love and happiness in abundance.

oh,... and regular BG's to all, and to all ...many good nights ;) (and days)

Holiday Excitement... (dear diary style)... 'tis the season

They say.. :"'Tis the season"... apparently for us to have hospital visits and/or avoid it...

Last week Jared was admitted to Children's while trying to deal with plantars wart on his big toe... Yeah, I know.. and Jared knew.. he said it quiet elequantly " I can't belive I am in the hospital for a wart on my toe!" Granted .. he had kiddie vicodin on board at that point, and the pain had subsided from the IV antibiotics they were administering... still... seems crazy that just because a kid is diabetic, and their body cannot best fight viruses and infections (Especially in extremeties)that they are hospitalized for it... the good that came out of it was that 4 days later.. in the night... the body rejected the infection, and sloughed that wart right off his toe.... call it an early christmas present ;)

We love the pod, however we are now pretty certain after having 2 more failed pods (since the last post) that there was a faulty case we had, and the shipping was likely the cause... with our experience now, we can just give injections to jared throughout the night and avoid having to wake him for a site change when we anticipate that the high sugars.. which could be hormones or anything... are likely a faulty pod.. we again avoid ketones..
Flash forward.. next pod, same box... 3 hours in the car to get to Vancouver between snow storm bursts... and we can't get his BG below 360.. way too high... we can't really stop to check ketones, but have a willing kid to check his bg every hour.. so mama's intuition kicks in again and I double his insulin bolus... yikes.. but we are prepared with juices and others things... but no need... our best attempt with doubling insulin only brings him down to the 279... we arrive almost 5 hours later, check for ketones and those buggers still snuck into his system... (side note* and a bit of foreshadowing* he is still on antibiotics from the toe insident) we get him to drink tons, and keep bolusing with insulin.. by 1am he is 140 and ketone free.. we sigh, and go to bed... that next morning he wakes at 67... a bit low, but a quick sigh again.... after breakfast... the battle is on... we can't get him to drop below 260, which we can handle.. but just before a trip to the snow hill to sled.. and he runs upstairs, and drops to the floor with his hands over his head... I come upstairs to find him with a "headache" and not feeling well... sh*t is what is going through my mind... there is a snow storm outside, and we are in 2 feet of snow... which would not be bad, if we were not already 1.5 hours from the hospital here we trust...

okay, so these details are only because we were reaching... looking for answers as it is now christmas eve and Jared can't get himself out of the bed of a dark room.. he is starting to get a fever and is "spitting" from the "extra spit in his mouth" and making deep sighs... his urine PH has changed, and has had ktones off and on for a few days... Sh*t again, is going through my head... i call the hospital nurse line, and it is out of service for the holidays...we fortunately have 2 more phone resourses and get a nurse eventually on the phone who is telling us that jared could be in acidosis and may need help sooner than we can get it for him... we treat the fever with tylenol and the spitting stops, the moaning subsides and we all look at him, and he is responding positivly and we think we can avoid a trip to the ER in a snow stom.. he falls asleep a few hours later, the fever (which the dr's were nervous how a child on antiobiotics could have a fever) does not return.. that night, he coughs in his sleep.. looks like he was just fighting a cough that was trying to come on.. a virus... for the first time, i am relived to have a cough with a fever... I was dreading that it was acidosis... I am not ready for that road... especially if it is icy and unsafe ;)

we made it through christmas, we got to play in the snow and the kids had an amazing time...

This year, we had a turkey dinner for christmas, for me... it felt more than ever likes thanksgiving.. I am so thankful for our health, our happiness and our intuition.

I hope you are all safe and healthy this holiday season. Happy Holidays.

What can you trust??

Last weekend Jared avoided an ER visit, and I hesitantly say, it was only beacause of our last ER visit that I had some Anti-nausea meds to help us beat the ketones at home... reason... Failed Pod.

Jareds average for the week was 145... and we did a pod change, (we love our pod!) .. but now has a mild trust issue with... He was 140, went to bed.. at midnite went up a bit to 230, which while sleeping and growing and every other unknown variable... was not too abnormal.. bolused him and went to bed... 3 am his sister woke and started asking for breakfast.. now to put this into prospective, aside from the fact that we were out of town visiting family and it was only our first night there, everything but this had been normal.. she was sharing a bed with Jared, and just kind of kept herself up, fussing and convincing us we needed to wake.. Jared heard the rukus, woke and said he had a tummy ache... we are sleepers and all this seemed 'not quite right' a quick bathroom trip and a bg check and we are at 372... hummm... ketone test to quickly follow.. and after a pee.. this is not easy to force ;)

Large off the chart ketones.. how the heck did this happen... must be the pod, i quickly double the amount of insulin the pod has suggested, and don't wait too much longer.. of course called our childrens hospital hotline.. but get this.. (and we love them there too - ) I asked specifically for the on call Endo DR.. and got 3 nurses before they all suggested we call a dr on call.. well the call from the dr was taking way too long... I was in Canada, and gave them my number there... and no call... (after we got home 3 days later, we heard 3 messages from the dr trying to reach us) way to read the reports with the current number!

It was time for mama instinct.. and this meant using the coveted Zofran (anti nausea for Chemotherapy patient) med to be dissolved.. he had not thrown up, but was so naseaus he could not even open his eyes.. (I was hoping this was because it was not even 4:30am and we were all way too tired.. but this was not the case...) he took it, and it takes 20 minutes to work 12.5 minutes later.. the vomitting started :( we thought we lost that valuable little pill :( but after only 4 sessions of vomitting... it stops.. he starts to feel better...

the Dr calls, was thankful we had the meds that the ER would have given us .. which was where she was going to direct us... (but seriously questioned how i got this med in my hands) and suggested we really change the pod, not knowing if that was the cause...

we change the pod, and do some serious injections as well to boost his changes of beating this.. after all there were cousins to play with and grandparents to hang with ;)

12 hours later,... by late afternoon, we were in the clear... NO ketones.. woah! that gave me a huge sigh of relief...

and a wake up call...
1. always be prepared with ALL types of meds that our children may need while we are away
2. don't let your kid convince you out of putting on thier CGM if they have one (because of guilt)
3.Really try and avoid changing a pump or pod right before bed... we hear it, we try not to, but really... avoidance can prevent this day from happening middle of the night, and hopefully catch when numbers are usually more stable.

So when I call Omnipod to tell them about the pod failure, they ask for it back.. I am cool with that... they even ask if they can call back to check how my son is doing...

I mentioned to her that I was calm and friendly because this was not her fault.. but this is a BIG deal and they need to look into the pod failures.. 2 in one month - NOT OKAY!! these are people, in this case a child wearing this... Double, triple check and pad the pods more if you have to in shipping.. because no matter how nice was was on the outside, I was pissed and sad on the inside.

it is over and I am getting ready to pack for another 2 weeks in canada... and wel put it this way.. the medical supplies are going into their own suitcase.. with tons of back up!

A dear friend - 4 years ago today...

I got this from a very dear supportive friend today and wanted to share her words:

Four years ago today I was standing in the hallway of the hospital ER when the Doctor looked at me and said "this kids got diabetes, we need to get him to Children's now!"

Four years ago today my two-year-old baby boy was lying on a gurney in an ambulance, racing down 1-5, with eyes as big as saucers, breathing rapid shallow breaths, when the EMT looked at me and said "he can only breathe like this for so long; his little body just might give up". Four years ago today my son was in the Children's Hospital NICU fighting for his life. Four years ago today my family's lives were changed FOREVER.

Four years ago today I learned all about the disease of diabetes; and that it would be Kevin and I's responsibility to keep our son alive. Four years ago today "diabetes" became a part of every hour of everyday ofour lives. Four years ago today Jackson poked his finger for the very first time. Four years ago today we began injecting Jackson with insulin to stay alive. Four years ago today I didn't know what "a low" was. Four years ago today we didn't fear seizures. Four years ago today my son's life was saved.

Four years ago today will NEVER be forgotten. Today is a day in my family to remember.... The day Jackson was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. December 8 has changed our lives forever, and yesyou would think that after four years it would not be difficult, that itwould not bring tears, anger, regret, sadness, questions, arguments, andfear. This year is actually worse than the last. This year I am so thankful to have my baby boy at the age of 6 with his first loose tooth, precocious as ever.

Today is important in my house and I wanted to share this with all of you because the month of December for many is a time for family and love. Today could have been a much sadder day for me but because of the wonderful doctors and people in our lives, along with a mothers intuition, today is the day we received a diagnoses. Today is the reason that our home hopes everyday for a CURE and the reason that I have relationships with many of you.

Delicious recipe for the holidays or anytime...

So we played around with our new ingredients.. and we had a great time.. and YUM the outcome was well worth the adventure....

Our version (D friendly) of no bake coconut balls or stacks

1 cup Shredded coconut
(We used Premium rich desiccated coconut by Kara) (got it at asian grocery store)
2 Tbsp Coconut oil
(we got Spectrum organic coconut oil by Spectrum) (found it at whole foods)
2 - 3 tbsp Unsweetened Cocoa powder
(we used Trader Joes)
1 tbsp Agave
( we used organic blue agave - low glycemic sweetener by wholesome sweeteners)
Vanilla to taste (approx 1 tbsp)

** optional garnish 2 tbsp whipped cream

we first put the coconut and cocoa powder in the bowl and added the coconut oil one tbsp at a time and making sure to mash it up good.. the temp in our house is pretty cold right now, so it pretty much in the form of a (crisco type product) we added the other ingredients and mixed it up well.. it was not looking promising for forming into balls or stacks, but tasted delicious.. we put it in the fridge for 30 minutes and then VOILA! we had perfectly formable 'stuff' to work with . This recipe divided into 4 or 6 nicely and we served it with whipped cream since 2 tbsp of the real whipped cream only adds 1 carb... and they dipped the balls in and licked the plates clean!

I would say it was a real hit and you can serve on a platter for guests, or plate for a dinner/dessert scenario

The great part is that the ingredients worked so well with Jareds BG... we divided all our ingredients leaving us at 8 grams a ball and depening on the size.. when we make 6 balls, we are at less.. and the taste was divine to the kids...it it did not have any spikes...

We are planning all our ingredients to canada with us when we go up for the holidays to make these.. they are delicious to anyone who likes coconut (and my kid's did not know they liked coconut before this)

Hope it works for you guys.

The ingredients were hard to find at first, which is why i posted where i found the harder to find ingredients.

New ingredient...and a recipe...

So When we were visiting my brother a while ago and were at a farmers market (yup he lives in CA, hence the markets are still open this time of year) we stumbled upon a dessert that was 'sugar free' without artificial sweeteners and seemed to get along with Jareds BG :) It involved Raw coconut, pure unsweetened cocoa, pure shredded coconut dried, and agave for a bit of sweet.

I was looking for the recipe for raw coconut haystacks... and in my searching found this other interesting recipe which would be a great to try...

The Raw Food Frosting Recipe I got was from a post on the Raw Freedom Community. While this recipe features lemon juice, you could make the same recipe with most fruits. I have reprinted it below with the bloggers modifications. (cupcakeproject.blogspot.com)

1 C coconut oil
1/4 C agave nectar
rind from 1 large lemon
1/4 C lemon juice

Beat the coconut oil until creamy.
Mix in the agave nectar.
Mix in the lemon rind and lemon juice.
The frosting will spread well. However, it will not be thick enough to pipe. After you put it in the refrigerator, it will harden.

I liked it much better cold and would strongly recommend serving it that way.

I have heard that both raw organic (if possible) coconut oil and agave are both low glycemic and pretty balanced overall for blood sugar responses..

This is the time of year when sweets come out and it is always a good idea to have some good 'D'Friendly recipies up your sleeve.

If i find the one for the haystacks.. or experiment and succeed... Iwill post it too.

A prospect of a cure..?!?! sooner than later???

This was released NOV 17, 2008

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27774926#27774926

I know, many times before we have heard of this option of an upcoming cure.. but with 2 drugs that are already on the market and currently offered to cancer patients, this is interesting... even if only to put in the back pocket. I have NEVER heard a report that speculates a year out for a cure... have you??

Gratitude - by Jen Hilt

"Gratitude" - by Jen Hilt

"At least it's not cancer", I must have heard this phrase at least 3 times during the aftermath of my son's diagnosis. Hearing this as a response to Henry's new diagnosis fueled my confusion, anger and depression. I was supposed to be grateful he had diabetes instead of some other awful illness? Why did he have to have any medical condition?
Around the same time, while working as a nurse, I needed to give a teen living with cancer an injection. The patient was notably apprehensive so I said in hopes of offering reassurance that "my son had diabetes so in addition to all my years giving injections, I give them to him several times a day." I was surprised to receive a pitying look from the teen, "I will recover from this cancer but your son will always have diabetes."
This wasn't what I was expecting to hear. To be candid, until someone figures out how to jump start a failed organ function this is true. And this young person with cancer sounded grateful not to have diabetes. Gratitude springs up in the most surprising places.

World Diabetes Day. Diabetes Awareness!

So we woke at home this morning thankfully feeling good and the hospital visit behind us, and how fitting it was his first day back at school after his stay at childrens and it is diabetes awareness day! Jared asked, what does that mean... he was already aware of how diabetes feels...

I told him it is so others know how it could affect them to, and how rampant it is ....

I did not go into these details with him, but got these from another great blog
A few facts:
-Every 10 seconds a person dies from diabetes-related causes.
-Every 10 seconds two people develop diabetes.
-Over 250 million people live with diabetes worldwide. In 2025, this figure will reach 380 million.
-More than 200 children a day develop type 1 diabetes.
-In developing countries, close to 75,000 children live with diabetes in desperate circumstances.
-Type 1 diabetes is increasing fastest in pre-school children, at a rate of 5% each year.

I have really enjoyed wandering through others blogs today and watching the videos of thier diabetic kids talking about their experiences... it has been enlightening... thanks for sharing.

Like all other days since June 20, 2007, Diabetes has my attention today! ;) We are completely aware! Spread the word!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig...

What a day! we ended up at children's ER after wondering why i was wondering how sick I was going to let Jared get before taking him.. needless to say.. shortly after the last post we were off. (I reflected on my own question, of how long to wait... and found my own answer)

I was glad we made it when we did, the ER was quiet and Jared was borderline DKA.. what does that mean.. well, pretty much at the point whereby classification they call it DKA is by lab results, and his were below the specified amount, by 1 unit...so he was considered DK (minus the A) no acidosis .. thank goodness... that is a bridge we have not yet crossed.

So after 11 hours we are home, with thier deliberation of if we needed to overnight there or not.. we opted to come home and go back again tomorrow for more follow up labs...

The concensus was ???? you heard it.. ????!!!! ...they said, they have no reason to tell us why this happened that they know of, since he had no symptoms of why this occured, but from what they have been seeing of 'diabetic kids', this seems to come and go for a few weeks, once it begins :( I am hoping we are the exception... and will chalk this up to a bad diabetic day :( and be happy with no reason... the ??? question marks come in because he had elevated white blood cell counts which indicate the body trying to fight infection.. only there was no infection to be found today... so we will take that test again tomorrow and see what was up there... they are hoping the problem will present itself, i am hoping the problem will resolve itself. Their business, vs. my business! I hope we win ;)

They did mention if i had waited much longer we would have had DKA to deal with... so good thing we did not wait... I do have to say.. they mentioned why did i not check ketones earlier.. I have to be honest.. ,and not saying i am perfect and i am not going to beat myself up over this, but a kid with a weekly average of 148 BG was not indicating illness, did not lead me to feel the need to check... they mentioned that with abnormal lows, there is reason to check which did preceed the high before the ketones 3 days prior... albeit (or is it all be it?) I guess the bottom line, is to now add one more repetoire to the 'to do' list and do random ketones tests.. just because?!?!?

Bottom line: trust your mommy (or daddy) instincts... you know them best... and even if and when you question yourself... belive in yourself.

Tonight, Jared is playing and back to his normal self... strange...but glorious.. home again, home again.. jiggity jig :)

p.s they had 4 dr's check his cough.. they say it is a perfect age for boys to develop some sort of nervous tick... and for now... this is his.

The Ketones are not a band...

Woke up this morning.... (nope not the beginning of any hit song) but the anthem of a morning with ketones... not sure where they came from.... in fact Large ketones were, and are ...so.... left field...

We have been up since the wee hours and Jared has a bad tummy ache now. We are trying to treat them at home with consult of childrens hospital.. but this has not happened to us before except with the tummy flu...

the most interesting part of this, is the phone dr said well it sounds like his cough has developed him some ketones.. I told him we were told for the past 2 months that it is a habitual cough...
he suggested we get it checked out again by a different dr....

What and when do you go to the hospital for treatment? The ketones seem to be joined by vomiting now.... hummm...chicken or egg...??? ketones or flu???

interesting...

very interesting...

send us potent insulin wishes and no ketones dreams...

that feeling...

I have had a hard time today shaking 'that feeling' last night was one of those odd nights, when Jared ate something he often does, we know the carb count, we didn't do anything out of the extraordinary.. went to bed with a in range number... and when we checked him at 10:30.. he was 44! why? .. i know..., you know...., all us parents of diabetics and diabetics alike know..., there is no reason.. i rechecked the BG history, his carb history, and his bolus and basal history.. nothing again out of the ordinary...

we treated him and waited the 15 minutes... still needed more... but not too much.. don't want him waking up at 300~~ well... we waited 15 minutes more and barely in range... but on the rise we decided he was on an upward trend and it was safe for us all to go back to bed.. he woke at 65... again strange.. these strange days leave me with "that feeling" that unsettled feeling that no matter how hard we try to 'control' diabetes, it has its own agenda.

I am also still waiting on the celiac and vitamin D results from his last endo appt... and so i feel... unsettled. I was actually unable to really be alone and okay this am.. after dropping off the kids, i usually come home to do freelance work, or run errands, or have a whole list of things to do, or that i could do.. but today I chose (i think) to erase my mind... well, i could not think of one thing that i wanted or was supposed to do... Thank goodness my neighbor and good friend called and asked me if i wanted to join her for a bit and carpool to pick up our kids. I think that feeling was that i really needed a hug, and a friend...I was feeling down and needed a hug.. those nights suck and really make me appreciate that we catch the lows and so far have avoided the consesquences of not... but that low, made me feel 'low' and carried right to the morning... I think it was waking my little boy over and over to force him to drink in the night, from his slumber... to wake him from his peaceful dreams to poke him with a glucose test.. or his reality (yes, pun intended!)

.. thankfully the sun is shining, and I am feeling better now, .. and all is right again.

Anxiety? or a bad habit?

So my son has picked up a habit... no, no, he is way to young for smoking or drinnking... he has a nervous cough... he habitually clears his throat.. we have been told it is not physiological, but rather habitual.. and for now, I will belive them...
Has this happened to any of your diabetic kids or friends? or is this just a personal thing... I mean, sure a 6 year old with diabetes has more stress than the average 6 year old.. but still.. enough to perpetuate the constant clearing of a throat? OY! Playing at the park, swimming class, in the movies, at school.. most of the day...... not when he sleeps, but aside, most of the time..

any insight?

the only diabetic i grew up with had an eye tick... figured it was unrelated...and so i am hoping for my sons ... just a 'phase' I can deal with... but does it ever go away? (It has been almost 3 months now)

*Note : isn't it funny how we can reasonably calm others about these issues, but can't always seem to grasp it when it is so close to home ;)

Totally unrelated but needed to air...

So one of my best childhood friends tried to end her life.

She is 'barbie' .. no that is not her name, but to me, she is perfect. She is all the attributes inside and out of what barbie should be 'born with' (yes i know she is plastic... but she does have perfect breasts, a small waist, blonde hair and blue eyes with great lashes that never clump ;) ) and since the manufacturers of barbie intended for her to be a role model to little girls, you would like to think they intended for her to be smart, witty, charming, funny, caring, and a good friend. Well, again, my friend, is all these things.

Last time we spoke (a few weeks ago) she was mentioning that regardless of Diabetes, I was so lucky to have 2 of the most happy, charming and smart kids, and pretty lucky overall to have the life i have... I agreed. I was a bit jealous of her life too, still a bachelorette, and involved in a fun career, got to sleep in on weekends, and lie at the beach for hours if she should choose to...and smart enough to know she did not want to settle with the last long term man she was dating. ... In a heathy way, I envied her, she envied me....

I now know, (and it obviously was not in any direct relation to me..) but that she really was not happy in her life, and she was wanting something different... and instead of seeking it, her depression got the best of her and she chose to try to fall asleep with some sleep-aid and not wake ... I am feeling blessed that it did not work, that I have a chance to spend more time with her, and to enjoy her company, even if she is not currently happy. I know there is more for her still, and I want to be a better friend. When i got a hankering to call her at 1am and leave a message to say hi, and she actaully answered crying, i should have known... I was glad to be there that night, but that is not enough.. she needs someone there always ....now... and I hope to always be the best friend I can be...to my friends, my family and to me.

Thank goodness Halloween is only one day a year!

Well all is still and quiet... until the late pitter patter of foot steps through the house .. Jared woke to pee... we check his BG which has been great in fact for 3 days solid... so good in fact, that if i had a working printer, i would have printed the download and framed it... because it was not hard to maintain that freaky few days of diabetic perfection...well now we check him and he is ...... drum roll, a ghostly and ghouly.... halloweeny 483... now that may not be such a shocker had he eaten a whole bag of candy... but we hit 3 houses, one which was ours, and we gave out LPT (little plastic things) one was our neighbor and good freinds, who specially made my kids bags of chips and annie's fruit snacks with a few stickers, and one random house where no one was home, so the kids got a reese snack stick (i think it is called). MY kids chose to come home and do crafts in our warm house vs wandering around collecting candy...So in total, we offered him a dark chocolate bar(Which i chose the mini one with the lower carb count to offer him treat if he did not want to go trick or treating, because he is catching on that for a diabetic kid, this holiday can kinda be candy revolved, and would prefer to do crafts, and things he likes than wander around and collect candy which he knows he likely shouldn't eat for his and my reasons. So in total after dinner, there was the dark chocolate which we gave him 14g, chips 17g, and a reese stick which he begged for (15g ) "since all other kids he knew were eating far more than this and he would not ask again to eat his treats when this night was done" (he offered up that one). ... before bed ... 180 and now... 483

All i can say, is thank goodness halloween is only one day a year... talk about junk food pressure!

I hope you all had a wonderful and happy halloween :)