the sirens of occlusion...

I should have had a clue after a wonky BG day in school... one that had the teachers baffled and on the phone... but as most of you know, BG's that vary tremendously really can indicated many things, or nothing at all ...

he was 57 before lunch and HIGH at the end of the day... although an hour later he was back to 140... so what was up.... the teachers parting words were... have a good nite, I feel for you.. I remember not sleeping... and from the sounds of it.. tonight might be one of those nights...

Foreshadowing.. for sure!

he went to bed... in range.. with tons of insulin on board, due to a pasta dinner and a hungry growing boy.. and so I kept checking him every hour, because i am trying the 'pasta night' extended bolus for 8 hours... well... his BG was 340 at 10:45 so i knew bedtime was not in sight for a while... Midnite.. HIGH... hummm... forced a bolus to correct... (actually hubby did it... after a day like that.. i needed some respite from the chaos..) and about 2 minutes after his walk back... the siren went off.... HUH .. you ask.. SIREN??? Jareds pod sirens when it goes into auto shut off... occlusion :( he comes running in scared... and i knew what had to happen... my hubby on the other hand has not heard the occlusion siren before... so it is quite new .. and intimidating... so 12:30 here we are changing the pod of a cute and very sleepy boy... He was a trooper... we let him sleep in our bed, and brought his sister in too.. it was one of those nites... closer is better.. might mean a bit more sleep

He woke up and went into his room.. dad had left some lego for him... he got all excited and was not expecting it.. I told him the pod fairy must have told dad to leave it out for the bravest boy.. (note: not that pod changes dont 'hurt' per say... but at midnite.. no one needs that S**T!

Funny story: The first time I heard the siren my brother and dad were in town... the lot of us searched the house when we heard it.. including Jared.. looking for what toy or appliance was making the high pitch squeel... it turned out then to be my boy.. well his pod anyway... so we learned... hear an electronic noise.. check the boy!(pod)

Off to school.. hoping the new pod will bring peace and quiet for Jared and his teacher ;)

Proud of her for speaking out...

A true hero of a mom, a person, and a spokesperson for all our children.... I love her...and I cried...when i saw the commercial..it caught me by surprise.

Her son has been a mentor and friend to our son...She has been a support and a role model to me!

what a great family!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rSITfYSxa8&feature=user

Post the origional post, I come back to this post of mine, not really realizing how contriversial it is.. nothing in politics ever is... but as parents of diabetic kids, and me knowing this woman and getting the call from her October of last year that her son had a seizure in the night... is why i tear up, because she is a hero for speaking out, no matter the forum.. I know in my heart, she did it not to help the politician first and formost but to help her child and all of ours... to raise a voice no matter the forum... to raise awareness of what a diabetic child endures - period. There is no pretending that everything 'can be normal'... it isn't and until resolution... it won't be.

This is NOT just a dramatic commercial.. this is real, this IS our lives, this is a truth ... not for the politician but for diabetics... seeing this commercial was like my first time saying out loud in a group forum that my son was diabetic.. it makes it real, the world does NOT know what it is like to live with a diabetic child... never mind the prospect of a cure, but dealing with today.. even more granular.. dealing with each moment!

Today I have decided that if I can ever have a moment to help others, and mostly families of diabetics like ours, I will... We cannot hide in the shadows of ignorance.... Our children have a different 'normal' they deal with more S**T than most adults can handle ... They are heros who deal with so much each day...

do you say YAY when you meet another diabetic kid? Is that twisted?

We (maybe just me, but I am sure Jared feels the same way) have felt rather alone.. since we have not met any other diabetics in the immediate area... a few at SKWIDDs meetings of course, but none at his schools, the playgrounds near us... but today was different...

After school we went to the pool, went in at 160 BG and then jared hopped out after 30 minutes.. tested when he said he was tired and hungry.. and was 54... I was happy he recognized that... that would have been real trouble...so he had 16g (fruit leather) and we waited and re-tested... 51!??!? kind of getting nervous.. had him have 16g more and waited and retested... he was only back at 54.. zoiks@!!! I went for the glucose tablets in his emergency kit... but asked the lifeguard if he had some juice... a woman and her son appeared with a juice box and said they noticed the glucose tablets... and her son was diabetic too... He drank the juice and was fine... and hopped back in the pool only to have his pod get knocked off by his sister after almost an hour in the pool... he was still only 125... after all that... it seemed to work out. and he got to be free for a while.. and it was pod change night anyway ;)

But the with the happy ending for Jared was a happy ending for me.. i swapped numbers with the other mom, and we will get the boys together (they are the same age) and I hope this is good... Jared always was asking why he is the only one around who got diabetes... if so many people have it .. why doesn't anyone else in the family or anyone else he meets...

We assure him he is not alone, but always wondered where the other 1 in 400 kids were... we found one... and I hope she calls to get together... if not for the kids, for me too... it is a open conversation with someone who understands... and she has been there.. her son was diagnosed at 2.5.. so she has really been there... and perhaps she will get something from me... if not just a good friendship

Ying and Yang... brain dump...

Go figure.. we had a great camping weekend, with numbers in range or low due to constant activity and beachcombing ;) ... a sad boy to come home, he has decided he wants to camp all week and next weekend until school starts! We arrive home (after a 2 hour drive - which took a bit longer than that) and a necessary pod change which has to happen to a strategic pod dislodge ;) on his part ...and an amazing first 'arm as a site' for the pod (he usually uses the belly) but the dr said that he is getting contact dermatitis from the tape and his belly desperately needs a break! he was great.. like a rockstar.. stating ' that hurt less than the belly ' which made us all feel good... and then chaos!!!!! 380 after his bath (Which is opposite of what it usually is - he tends to go lower in warm water) and then a high reading until midnite... multiple boluses before bed... checking every 2 - 3 hours all night with CGM readings and alarms of HIGH all nite... and then waking at 7:45 finally still at 240... no ketones amazingly... and then a nice reading of 120 before breakfast...just before 9am. (hey, i have learned to take any inrange number no matter what the time is... )

So riddle me this.... can emotions? change of site location? change of environment? change things that much... ???

before bed tonight he is reading high again... lets hope it is growth hormones, pre first grade anxiety... or something temporary.... i am too exhausted for another night of constant boluses...

p.s the doctor has us on the 'watch' for celiac sympotms as Jared is a frequent pooper.. and gets tummy aches before each one.. did i mention that frequent can be 4-5 times a day.. or after each meal?!?!? Is that common.. happpen to your kids? with our without celiac? We have a blood draw at the next visit to tell for certain... but I was wondering what is your experience with 'movements' and your kids.. and tummy aches.

thanks again for being out there :)

A great check up...

Well.. as usual 3 + months has come and gone and it was time for the endo again... We got a call from Childrens hospital clinic stating that Jared has not seen a social worker since his second appt post-diagnosis and they would like to try again.. could we come a bit early for an additional appt. Of course... he had not spoken a word to them when they tried at the previous appts... this time he talked.. he chatted away quite frankly... for 45 minutes.. everything from diabetes to lego... he has come a long way...

But the best news came in in the form of a sticky note attached stuck to her notepad... it said 6.4! I knew what that meant and was ready to boot her out the door to hear from the endo to follow to confirm that that 6.4 was in fact Jareds.

I am pleased to say.. indeed.. it is Jareds... she seemed as thrilled as I was.. and said he could be a poster child for diabetes.. perfect control and according to the CGM read outs spends 80 % of his time in range.. which is like that of a non diabetic.. and yes, i am an optimist, for a moment, although i know it is not the truth... maybe he isn't diabetic.. okay it was a thought in passing, it comes and goes, some realists call it denial.. but a mom can dream, can't she?!?!? (Note to readers: during the months past, and days.. which included an ER trip with ketones and stomach flu..vomiting at the er, and occlusions and pods that did not work... it all still turned out okay - while it is happening it all seems like the number will be high, that the total control is not there, and that the above fasting glucose numbers in the morning were a sign that a good A1c could not possible be....)

he is growing on his curve and gaining weight on his curve... and we could not be prouder of him.. he is the hero, the rockstar and the one who puts up with the 'rules' of the game.. and mostly he makes the right choice. sometimes with a grain of salt, and a few disappointed sighs... but he is a good kid, who is really doing an amazing job! No matter how much we act like a pancreas for our children, it is up to them to deal with it... and today, i am the proudest mom I can be!

I am not sure it is the A1c's that make me so proud, but more the confirmation that all the challenges he faces are worth it... and that they are going to in the long run pay off...

"Something is not right"

Have you seen the remake of Madeline the kids movie??? Well the nun wakes and says with a finger to the air "something is not right".. Last nite at 2:30 am.. I woke.. something was not right! I was not sure what.. I was exhausted enough to for a moment try and tell myself after i tried to go to the bathroom, that i should just go back to bed... but i did not have to go to the bathroom, nor could i go back to bed.. something was not right.. I woke a bit more from my mid night stuper.. and decided to check on Jared, whose CGM was beside him, but the little monkey had turned down the alarm for night to 50! OY, well it said 56 when i went in... that was the pager to my brain that night.. not a direct line.. a little luck but a definate feeling to wake and disturb me... While i checked his BG, it vibrated and woke him... he jumped to read it... and said, how did you get here so fast... I treated him and waited... 10 minutes later (Which is quick i know.. i usually wait 15 but I was tired...) he was only 61... at this second round of waking, he was up too... he asked me how i knew.. i told him the story of Madeline and how 'something was not right'.. he giggled and said he loved me and was so happy I had 'that feeling'....and now he wanted to go back to sleep, knowing he was safe...

What an amazing feeling to have your little one feel (Even if for a moment) safe enough to express it... and to fall back asleep :)

Cheers to all Pancreas Parents.. .we are not alone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlhfrNmk5os&feature=related

In the wee hours we are awake, checking, and making sure our little ones are safe...

We love our children so much!

Kudos to this girls video...

It was a laugh for us to watch this... enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5AVRRRwX_E

Always good for Jared to feel normal... and seeing other kids with the likely similar feelings make his feelings validated, even if I have never felt them before.... other kids seem to really be able to express it well. Way to go Katie!

Some random rants and raves...

Rave 1: So have to say that Jared is really enjoying his Jonas Brothers CD (trust me under any other circumstance... I would be gagging as my child embarks on a teen dream singing group love, but this time, for this reason, I am okay and totally supportive and a fan of the song myself ;) The son 'a little bit longer' is on repeat in our car, and he loves it and he and his little sister rock out to it, and he is really listening and picking up on the lyrics quicly. (Refresh for those who are not familiar with this song: it is a song written about diagnosis day for Nick Jonas the youngest Jonas brother who has type1 diabetes and currently wears on omnipod pumping system).

Rave 2: The Cooking is fun 'for diabetic kids' Cookbook is better than expected.. we made the mini pumpkin raisin muffins (2 for 12 carbs) and used some great organic ingredients all of which we had in the house, and they turned out great... fantastic actually! we stuck some candles in some for our neighbors birthday and they really enjoyed them too. A big hit, can't wait to try out some more recipies! The other interesting thing is that Jareds BG's were accurately accounted for ironically that night, and woke up in the best range possible so far (okay well a little low, but we take a reasonable low as a morning number as it happens to non diabetics too. Was it the truly thought out diabetic recipe? Humm.. will have to try some more to see just how well this whole 'eating as a diabetic' rather than just eating healthy balanced portions thing goes... to be continued.. and updated...

Rant1: and this is a BIG one!!! CGM denial letter came today from my insurance company.. although when i call on the phone they say different.. I have to say getting that letter sucked big time and made me pissed at a company who so far has been really understanding of our son's medical needs and worked with us really since diagnosis with him to get him the best supplies we can find to make him the most comfortable... I will appeal again and get on Dexcom's back too.. insurance said Dexcom has not provided what they need for proper verification of medical necessity and breakdown of costs.... since they are both playing with our money.. i think they are taking their own sweet time.. really.. if that $800 bucks was out of either of thier pockets.. you best belive they would be moving faster.

We are going to put a sensor on Jared again as AIC time is coming up and we like to have as much data for the Endo team as possible when we visit.. especially since we did last time (may 9th to be exact) and they were able to make such a difference to Jared and really reduce his headaches and yoyo BG's and my night waking rountine has become limited to 1pm as last check in and only as intuition thereafter forces ;) Most of you know what I am talking about...

And this one is running as just a thought.. not a rant or a rave.. but school is coming up and teacher training time for Jared is just weeks away... Gotta get prepared and get all the supplies and my 'lesson plan' for showing the teachers how this disease will affect Jared in thier classroom and lunch time and what to look for... and treatment plans... Good thinh Jared is becoming really self proficient at this point.. Makes me proud.. although it is scary to have a fresh 6 year old counting his own carbs and bolusing himself based on them... Hopefully he and his teacher will form a good relay team for this information and it will all work out.

Well that wraps it up.. of to do the midnite check and catch some zzzz's.

Just when you need it...

We made it thought the birthday madness which in our house involves both my (now) 4 and 6 year olds. born 2 years and one day apart! Things were getting back to normal only a few days after the family is gone and the sun is out, swimming classes are back on.. rooms to clean.. etc, etc.. and for Jared.. Pods to change. They don't hurt him, and they save him a whole lot of hassle with needles 10 times a day, but today was again.. one fo those days when he was mad.. and DONE and wanted his diabetes to go away. It was just yesterday when he asked.. why am I the only one in the family with Diabetes!?!? Which i answered with a question : would you want anyone else in the family to have diabetes too? and he thought for a second and said, no.. I guess you are right.. And that ended that... but I wondered.. does he feel alone? does he know we do our best for him and for his care, that just last night we needed to double team his limp sleeping body and wake him from his deep sleep to give him milk to cover his low!??! That we urge him to test often for his own good and bolus early to feel the best he can so he CAN feel normal after a meal ... Secretly, although he won't admit it when he is on his diabetic frusterated path... I am sure he does. We found his Better is Better book under his bed which illustrates (litteraly) how many pokes he is saved by using a pump and how much better his life is today and will be tomorrow by using it, that the frusterations of pod changes .. which helped too... but with all luck in the post, today arrived our very own Jonas Brothers song A little bit longer... the song Nick wrote about his feelings about being diagnosed with Diabetes.. and Jared asked if we could put it in the car and park at the mailbox and listen to it all... Also in this package was a cookbook for diabetic kids called cooking up fun. What perfect timing. All is peaceful and the kids are happy and Jared is feeling great!... Until the next time... "A little bit longer.. and I'll be fine :)"

Not sick, just diabetic...

One of our friends asked us what was on the schedule for today... I responded with the usual list of; park, pharmacy to pick up prescriptions.. etc, etc... My son chimed in with ," We are getting a prescription because I have diabetes, not because I am sick.. just so you know..." I think he is really wanting to be as normal as possible... Is there balance for a diabetic who is in control and one who is 'living life'.. like a responsible non-diabetic?

Diabetes is 24/7 .. .it sounds extreme or to some... even somewhat of a dramatic "feeling sorry for your self" because "Cancer would be so much worse" or having "other problems on top of having diabetes"...would be horrible too. Are we looking to make things worse? NO, the thing is.. is that if you pretend with Diabetes you are not diabetic, you get sick.. so you go from diseased and dealing with it, to a sick diabetic in jeapordy of a coma!

I read a post today of a mother who has a daughter here in the area and that a 6th grader in her daughters school is in the hospital with a diabetic coma - 1 year post diagnosis... that scared the crap (*pardon the expression) out of me... if it could happen to her, it could happen to anyone.. another story of a child dying from strep throat due to diabetic complications... these are real.. and pretending they are not only gets you into trouble... doesn't it??

How can we as parents not stress or stop checking for a second when the reprocussions are unthinkable.

How do you deal with constantly worrying for your child? have you found a coping way to deal with the stresses without bottling them? I guess for now; I have blogging.

Done, done and done...

Tonight my little guy declared to my hubby that he is "done" he is tired of diabetes and he does not want to check himself anymore, he usually is good about all this, he does it, he understands, he deals as best he can. Not tonight, it seemed to be brewing as his reply to a simple, time to check your BG has been replied to with "you don't need me to, you want me to"... something was brewing...

I think this is all starting to sink in to him a year post diagnosis (just a few weeks ago) that for now, it is not going away... that his 6th birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks and he, yet again, has to "waste" a wish on something he thinks cannot come true for him on his birthday. he should not have to wish for a cure - every wish he makes - , he too, like all other kids should get petty wishes of Lego, Pokemon, trucks, rescue heros and everything fun... but he still wishes for his diabetes to go away. He is done.

How do we overcome this? does this go away before a cure? Do we change our polite answer to others of "how is it going for him?" to "it sucks?!!!??!" instead of, he is doing great??

I want to make all his wishes come true, but this one, for now, I can't!

how can you give a child back his childhood? how can you make him believe once again wishes come true? How can y0u make them forget for one second about the disease and remember the little things?

Perhaps I can get his CGM back on him, he is tired of carrying around that too... lots of 'stuff' for a little guy to deal with... too much 'stuff' .... There has got to be a way...

How do you deal with this? Tomorrow is a new day, perhaps he will feel better when he wakes... and us too...

Being away and getting organized...

Well we have been away quite a bit this summer visiting family... and being away from home often presents BG issues in itself, so being prepared is really critical to the whole experience to make sure that Jared my D son is best equipt and prepared for being away and staying as 'regulated' as possible with of course some flexibility.

I found that carrying around the whole "tackle box" of supplies (he called his cowboy kit) worked when he was on injections as there were so many supplies to bring it was necessary to bring tons of extra supplies because you never know exactly how many of each were necessary... so consider the fishing tackle box as a supply kit for your injecting needs...

Now that he is on the Omnipod or Pump (for all intents and descriptive purposes) we use a plastic 3 drawer system (As seen on the diabetic mom song YouTube video in a previous post)

Top drawer is extra supplies for testing (Strips, lancets, ketostix and alcohol wipes).

Next is supplies for pod changes - (including the polysporin/neosporin (Depending which country you live in) for the site puncture to help the healing which we have found to be a great discovery, SKin prep wipes, which also were a great discovery to help the pods stay on with less irritation on removal so worth the 'non coverage' expenditure, and sets/pods ofcourse)

The last drawer is for lows supplies (lots of fruit leathers, sharkies (organic, no high-fructose-cornsyrup energy chews for kids and other such treatments for lows) (*oh exciting when visiting canada we found a new fruit snack option - all natural made by sunrype called fun bites - find 'em if you can - they are 16g of carbs and all fruit )

So we sound prepared... we feel prepared... but the whole 'regular' part of the equation is still yet to be figured out, but you know what?!? we do our best.. we treat the highs and lows and we move forward, and are thankful for every day we spend visiting family and friends :)

Night time basal rate change.. the 2 hour waiting game...

Well, tonight is one of those nights.... the fist night after the changing of a night time basal rate... and it is 11:40pm and my son is 97 with .20 units on board.... seems simple.. kiss him goodnite and off to bed... well not quite..

I have an obsession.. as do many other pancreas parents... to protect my son from night time lows when possible... and well... this is a number that may be heading that way.. but not worth waking him up for a nite cap of milk... so I wait. My waiting game, gives me about 2 hours of ... well waiting, and wasting time. I suppose I should be enjoying this time, it is mine after all.. the house is quiet, everyone is asleep... but me... waiting, I am waiting. Before May 9th of this year, and since my son's diagnosis a year ago, I waited every nite... but then I waited for three hours, every three hours, and as I mentioned in an earlier post, the great endo nurse changed the ratios and now the pod/pump is doing more of the work than me... but when we make a change.. tonight it being a combo of a basal rate range, and a Correction factor change, and a really active late evening in the yard with friends and neighbors... I wait. Again.

I hope that those growth hormones that on any other nite, keep me up to bolus him, kick in and keep him hovering in the 'safe' zone.. because of ALL nites, earlier today, I took off his CGM and gave him the day off. For those who don't have one, or are not too familiar... it will vibrate to wake him and if that does not work, it will beep to wake me.. at a high or low out of range. Talk about piece of mind... well tonight, this mind.. has not much peace!

All I think about is imagining what is going on in that little body of his, and how will I one day figure it all out to pass the torch on to him, so he can sleep, with piece of mind, and not worry... and respond to his own needs in the nite.

So, as I wait... I write, and I wish you all a peaceful sleep tonight, and a bright sunny day tomorrow, with no night wakings, and sweet dreams (but not too sweet - we don't want to wake with a high ;) (cheesy I know, but seriously, who thought of that... 'sweet dreams'!?!? well tonight, as my precious son sleeps I wish him sweet dreams of about 6 carbs to keep him safe, and dreaming of a sunny day tomorrow.)

A Loop hole in getting a CGM approved!!! Try it :)

Well, I really am thankful to have good insurance that has covered , my son's supplies to date. They don't always right off the bat, but they do eventually.

I had a little help from a few key people before submitting my claim for my son's Dexcom CGM.. Here is the important key points to remember:

CGM's are new and may have caps (Such as $80 for users life in reimbursement) but as diabetics we have more of an unlimited resource for "Durable Medical Equipment (DME)" (Specifically over $399) (This is what I learned from the fine print) Sowwhen you file= remember= APPLY FOR COVERAGE WITH COOPERATION FROM YOUR ENDO FOR COVERAGE FOR YOUR DME (They will know the CODE for this) and the sensors should be claimed under the same diabetic injectables supplies that your pump sets or needles would be covered under.

Work as a team, and I know that Dexcom will work with you to get the approval.. we are still waiting, but have not had denials so far, and are waiting to get approval. We filed for reimbursement in May of this year... They have 45 days supposedly... but we have our fingers crossed, and I hope that the "check is in the mail!" so to speak! :)

If you need further info or specific codes because you don't have a saavy provider, please comment or email me, and I would be happy to provide these, I just don' have them on hand as I blog tonight :)

The CGM has been amazing for awareness for us all, and really has helped with allowing us to see trends most importantly...knowing that he is going up or down from even a great number, helps us to 'keep him in range' with foresight and insight.. rather than constantly reacting and having him bounce up and down like a ball in a box!

Good luck - and may the force be with you!

Your blog is like chicken soup for the soul!

I have to give kudo's to those other bloggers who I don't personally know, but that I feel really connected to. I love reading about your morning scenario.. about your daily routine, about the 'things' that happen during your daily (And nightly) lives and how diabetes entwines itself into it. We have the same morning scenarios, same big questions, same feelings and emotions.

I love your writing, and your antecdotes.. and truly sometimes your posts help me to explain things to my loved ones and friends - things I could not articulate myself.

Thank you, and keep on blogging :) I love every word of it :)

The paradox of cause and effect.

Found some more interesting facts about household things that can cause illness and wanted to share them:

Germs (This one we know.. but the detergent was the new shocker for me)

Which room of the house harbours more germs, the bathroom or the kitchen?
If you answered the bathroom, you will be surprised to know that the kitchen harbors a lot more germs then the toilet seat.

According to a program on CNN broadcase in March 5, 1996, Carlos Enriquez , a scientist at the University of Arizona in Tucson lab tested sponges and dishrags from 1,000 kitchens in five major American cities. Some sponges carried salmonella bacteria, e. coli, campylobacter, clostridium perfringens and staphylococcus and other ill-causing bacteria.Not only that , but some bacteria growth is caused by the detergents that are used in washing dishes…. What a paradox….

Read more about this here: edition.cnn.com/TECH/tomorrow_today/9603/sponges/index.html.
If this article didn’t get your attention, consider the fact that one single bacteria cell can become more than 8 million cells in less than 24 hours! http://www.webmd.com/solutions/stop_cold_germs/kitchen-cleanliness.

Are your beauty products killing you?

This is the title of the article you find here: www.alternet.org/story/13530/.This article examines phthalates which are plasticizers and have always been considered safe according to product safety standards. But are they so safe?Phthalates have now been recognized as toxic substances under environmental law, but companies are free to use unlimited amounts in cosmetics.Read more in the article above.

Certified organic bodycare products

What is the difference between simple “Organic” and “Certified organic”?
CERTIFIED organic products contain no synthetic chemicals at any stage of the production chain, beginning with growing, harvesting, storage, transporting and processing, through to the final ready-for-market product. Where there is an ingredient that is essential for the product to function, (e.g. xanthan gum to thicken) and that ingredient is not yet available as organically grown, then, up to a maximum of 5% of non-organic ingredients may be used in the product, and only until that ingredient becomes available and organically grown.

Organic products are not the same. The organic chemistry definition of organic, is any compound containing carbon. Carbon is found in anything that has ever lived. So, by using this definition of organic, many manufacturers can (and do) say that the toxic petrochemical preservative, methyl paraben, is "organic" because it was formed by leaves that rotted over thousands of years to become the crude oil used to make this toxic preservative.

All of this is something to add more knowledge to our base.. not to scare, but just for our back pocket so to speak. Hope you found this interesting. I did. You hear people talking about what to avoid, but they don't always have facts or reasons why... If you have other items you avoid, please share them with us. I know I always have an open ear and an open mind.

Just can't shake the feeling...

Ever have one of those nights... regardless of if you are watching a comedy or a chick flick.. you still can't shake the feeling of your child having to deal with Diabetes everyday. Today.. not a holiday from Diabetes... Another day... dealing with stresses kids should not have to deal with.

I panic, I hide it well, but I panic. I kiss him and love him (my daughter as well of course) and I worry about both of them, like all parents do. But I would trade almost anything for the Diabetes to just go away...

There have been days when it acted as though he was non-diabetic for a few hours, and I wished it was like a flu that goes away in time... It has wreaked enough havoc on our family .. it is time for it to be gone. Leaving a healthy, vibrant and energetic boy.. who gets to be a boy.

I am feeling like today's post is more of a diary entry than a post, so hang tight with me as I peel my layers before you all. I just need to get it out sometimes.

He is sleeping and put the CGM monitor on him tonight. I always feel like the bad guy, when I have to put 'more stuff' on his little body.. and tonight he let me know I was the bad guy.

Another diabetic mom once told me.. (and thank Gosh for her, or I would take it even harder than I do ... They (your Diabetic Child) will say things and feel things that are not fair to them or you, it hurts, Like heck, but don't take it personally... the moment passes, and life is filled with so many moments.. let that one pass too... with a grain of salt, and an unconditional loving hug, that no matter how hard it seems to get.. you all will make it through!

How do you cope with making life as 'fair' as possible? How do you treat all the children in your life Diabetic or not equally? How do you remind those around you that they need to treat all your kids equally...

Life is not fair sometimes, but I still wish, and hope and strongly belive, that one day soon.. it will be. I don't know how or when... but please ... let it be soon!!

A wish... or self driven solution??? He figures he has it all figured out

My son's birthday is coming up soon and well, in preperation, every chance to make a wish.. he does. For the past year, as many other parents of diabetics know, that 'not having diabetes' is likely one of the 'most requested' wishes of the year. (much like the top 10 christmas gift list). Jared thinks he has figured in his own mind, regardless of how many times we tell him to never lose hope and keep believing and that he can even be a part of the solution with dedication... However he figures that since that wish is not likely to come true (atleast for this year) since everyone else with diabetes has had it thier whole life and has not really heard of it going 'away' for anyone he has decided that he can outsmart the wish process... something more likely to get... a round about way of not having type 1 diabetes. Jared's new wish is for type 2 diabetes. Yup, you heard it right, my son is hoping for the disease of choice in comparison. I ask him why. He states "Mom, if I had type 2, I would just keep taking care of myself and eating right... and exercising and I could cure myself." There you have it, a 5 3/4 year old kid, figuring out a way to cure his own diabetes... downgrade! In his mind.. Upgrading!

I only hope all his hopes, wishes and dreams come true, today, tomorrow and forever.

I just have to add my own personal touch on this post: Last year I took Jared and his sister to Disney on Ice shortly after his diagnosis, and as I watched all the children overindulging in sweets, treats and even expensive souveniers.. I thought to myself, I hope each one of those childred appreciate what they have, and what they are given... And know that they are lucky for each and everything and every functioning part they have... and the MC shortly says in the magic of the "wishes' theme of the show for all the kids to make a wish... You know that all the kids with their mouths full, and their arms full of goodies likely wished for more of the same, and you know that all the sick kids or diabetic kids in the audience are wishing for cures, and health! Somethings just don't seem fair.

Don't you think that parents should not take pancreas, health and the magic of their childs life for granted and feed them crap, for one day it could all be taken away, or do you allow for those endulgences so that if it should happen that way... they have had a taste of it?

What are your thoughts? Am I just too emotional about the diabetes?

Request for CGM's: Denied by Insurance

I, along with many others are sick of being denied coverage for the CGMS. Join me on July 1 to raise our voices as a community.

If you have been denied coverage for the CGMS by your insurance company, Please make a post on your blog, personal website and or a video post wherever you are a community member on JULY 1, 2008 telling everyone how important the CGMS is for you to keep healthy.

HERE’S WHAT YOU DO:
In the subject line of ALL your posts please put:
REQUEST FOR CGMS: DENIED BY INSURANCE

This way we will have a way to keep track of everyone’s posts, and make our voices heard.

I have been doing research and have figured a few loop holes during my battle .. I will post on these soon!